News

WINKLER, MB Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to ...
Statistics Canada has just released the results of the 2021 census and there are many startling revelations about the country’s Mennonite population. Let’s have a look! Average Mennonite net worth: 73 ...
REGINA, SK Mr. Earl Fehr of Regina loaded up the minivan and took the family on a six-hour long drive through the countryside to look at some fields this weekend. “Hey, look, kids! Bales!” yelled an ...
WINNIPEG, MB After thousands of LED streetlights have appeared rather lavender in recent months, many locals are wondering just how many Mennonites it takes to change a purple lightbulb. “We’ve had to ...
DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. “Heck, ...
SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote for,” ...
KITCHENER, ON Area man Dave Eby, 43, has just stumbled on an amazing new plan to avoid paying rent in the exorbitant southern Ontario housing market. “It all started in the church lobby with Mr.
The Daily Bonnet doesn’t want to leave anyone out. After compiling a list of the most common Russian Mennonite surnames, there were numerous requests to make a Swiss Mennonite list. The problem was I ...
STEINBACH, MB Dozens of Steinbachers expressed their rage on the community Facebook page this week, wondering just when “they” were going to bring a particular fast food restaurant to town. “I’m sick ...
MONTREAL, QC After failing to meet the criteria necessary to participate in the federal leaders debate, the Green Party of Canada has been told to told to fight amongst themselves, instead, “just like ...
PITTSBURGH, PA It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I ...
Need to spice up your love life? Look no further than the Mennonites! It’s the worst kept secret in the world: Mennonites are near the top when it comes to love-making. How else do you think they got ...